I see someone’s anger towards me as an expression of wisdom. I may see their judgements towards me as an inadequacy towards themselves, but—and here’s the thing— I really don’t mind.

Not giving a fuck is my present parlance of not minding what happens. It is to be happy being the student and having no urge to act like the teacher at the front of the classroom who has to pretend he knows more in order to protect and maintain his image.

To not give a fuck actually has alot to do with humility. It is caring and taking responsibility for the impact we have on ourselves such as on others. It’s to be open and to make ourselves vulnerable, but to feel no urge to hurt others because we ourselves know what pain feels like. It is standing up for another but never standing above another. It‘s about leadership, but not about making ourselves the best. It‘s all about making others better. It is setting boundaries, in a loving way.

It is becoming unchained from the burden of having to judge or to argue for arguements sake. Relationships become so much more beautiful and exciting, and in a sense, they aren’t personal anymore, yet they become more intimate, on a more profound and deeper level. They become like the weather.

We are allowed to not like things and even rage against them. But at some point, we don’t fuss about everything anymore and instead we start to enjoy the show. We start getting excited even when things aren’t going quite our way. Uncomfortable situations become to the part of the book where the plot gets really interesting and dangerous for the protagonist—and who wants to miss that part of the hero’s journey?

It’s okay to be confused, it means your alive. It’s okay to feel misunderstood, it means your awake. It’s ok to feel trapped, it means your up for an adventure. And if you’re OK with all the good and not so good (now take this in and it will blow your mind), it means you’ve gotten over yourself, and this is what enlightenment feels like.

When we hold compassion for what arises within us as well as what arises within others - sane and not-so-sane—we get to play in some damn interesting territory. If you thought not giving a fuck would get you off the hook of having to feel, deal or experience uncomfortable things—if you thought it would somehow make you above things— think again mate.

Basically, we just don’t judge thunderstorms anymore. We may be in awe of it, or disappointed, or frightened by it, but whichever way we view it, it just is what it is. We cannot say a wave is incomplete because it’s not flowing the way we expect it to flow - this single wave is the essence of one huge ocean and flowing exactly the way it is supposed to flow, whether we like it or not. And therefore give your situation, as fucked as it might be, one very big, “Okay. Yes. I accept.” And understand you can’t control the wave, but you can learn to surf.

So not giving a fuck all comes down to this: Whatever is happening should be happening. All you can do is try to solve the problem and react if you must. But there is no wrong way to do it because, on a deeper level, it is what it is, and everyone else is doing what they believe they should be doing. And with accepting this, you become radically free.

  • Not being understood? Yes.
  • Feeling trapped? Yes.
  • Other peoples toxic behaviour? Yes.
  • My own toxic behavior? Yes.
  • Being treated unfairly? Yes.
  • Making mistakes? Yes.
  • Death? Yes.
  • Life? Yes.
  • Suffering? Yes.


As you willingly open up to everything life shoves down your throat, you open up Pandora’s box and it will take you to all the darkest corners of yourself. And with this openness, we turn towards our own souls rather than blaming others. And what makes this territory so interesting is that we start to see the bigger picture: that others are being and doing exactly what we need them to be doing, so that we can grow into what we came here for.

We can hate it and love it all at once. We can play out our dramas, and they can play out theirs, and ultimately we know that there is just no way to do it wrong. We start to trust life and our journey a little bit more. Inner peace arises, we get calmer, more focused. We let things affect us and open us, yet we don’t get attached by them. We are the wise disguised as the student and we start to fucking love this insane game called life.


So... fold your worries into paper planes and turn them into flying fucks.